Dear Future Husband,
We are standing on the precipice of a new lifelong covenant and I couldn't be more proud, confident, yet nervous, well rather, anxious. Our journey from friends to dating to lovers to now, betrothed and soon to be covenant partners -- better known as husband and wife, has been nothing shy of interesting to say the least. Best of all, it’s been our own. There is nothing more admirable than a man who is submitted to God and sensitive to His voice. To be unapologetic about it, as I have witnessed you be, has been handsomely rewarding. The vulnerability and trust it takes to give of your total being to an unseen God is a strength not commonly measured, but greatly treasured.
We've been intentional in every aspect of our relationship and this next phase of life together isn't any different. Our friendship is important to each of us and we protect it at all costs. In fact, we need to be that much more intentional. I want us to honor God with our union, our lives and the family we will birth. I want us to exercise the Word, not just on Sundays, but in our home and in our lives. I want us to create a physical space of sanctuary called home. Warm and inviting, yet private and secure for us to be naked with one another -- both emotionally and physically. Whether in a studio apartment or a house, I want home to always be in the presence of each other.
As with any newly constructed house, we've put in the work to ensure we've laid a solid foundation. A foundation of communication. A foundation of unity and teamwork. A foundation of shared morals and values. A foundation of prayer.
Together we have broken up the stoney ground of previous traumas to create a bedrock of trust and stability in the vulnerability of each other's healing.
During the engagement, we begin to erect the framework and dry wall with our habits of communication, sacrifice, love and loyalty. We've insulated the walls with trust and integrity that we may always be protected and fortified against any intruders. Upon the commencement of our covenant, we'll take full residence of this house we've been building so diligently. Collectively, we will furnish our new dwelling place and continue to make it our home. Understanding that our infrastructure is critical to our elaborate future.
In this relationship, I’ve seen sides of you that aren’t the warmest, I didn’t like them but I still chose to love you in spite of them. Your silent tantrums, one word responses and passive aggressive sarcasm can make a sane woman crazy, but I’m a little insane when it comes to you. Through this supernatural lens of patience, I see every fragile place that was guarded by walls of defense. Through this same lens, a man who desires the protection of a sacred heart, careful management of emotions and warm acceptance of his flaws. I see your flaws, and I choose to love you beyond them. They make you who you are and I want all of you. In loving just the good, I cheat myself out of loving a whole person.
I’m a beautiful mess beyond the naked eye, a masterpiece in the making. I’ve shared my fears and insecurities with you and you’ve always said or done something to make me feel safe with you.
As your wife, I can finally rest securely knowing that along with loving me, protecting me and my heart is your priority. I trust that you will replenish my strength when I feel depleted. The safety you’ve afforded me in being with you allows me to retreat from the duty of protecting myself. In these moments I feel covered and free to be myself, liberated to conquer anything! Sharing my heart with you uninhibited has become my place of refuge and empowerment. Your piercing eye contact communicates with my soul on an intimate level -- as if you have the combination to my internal chambers. Your brilliant mind draws me in and stimulates me to a higher place of consciousness -- for you and the world around me. Your charming humility and optimistic ambition are characteristics that keep longing to be a better person as your counterpart. Your cheesy sense of humor keeps me giggling girlishly and laughing hysterically. It makes loving you that much easier.
Society unfortunately is not setup to protect you. Everyday is an invisible, incomprehensible battle that only you know because you face it each time you leave the safety of your home. You suit up in your armor and game face to take on the world bravely. The stares, glares and assumptions of stereotypes based merely off of your representation silently mount a building frustration that you've conditioned yourself to suppress daily. Society has quietly reduced you to a servant in a land where you're a King. That thresh hole you cross into your home, soon to be our home, is your kingdom. I, as your Queen, eagerly anticipate your need for intimacy. Your shoulders have carried the weight of responsibility and family, allow me to massage away the misogyny of society. Rehearse your day in silence as I cradle your exhausted mind on my chest. My ears are the scribes of your fragility. My arms are the minions of your comfort. My lap will always be your throne, as long as you're my King.
I will be the Keeper of your secrets, the Cheerleader of your goals and endeavors and the Confidence of every low moment.
I got you. We got each other. And God‘s got us. the future Mrs.